


Chaos Killed Clair

by Androids_in_Metropolis



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: AU, AU ending, Alternate Universe - Trans, Fluff, Gen, OC, Sad, Tragedy, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Girl, Transgender, au pre story, clair dean is an oc mother, dead mother - Freeform, happy-ish ending, heathers fluff, jason dean fluff, jd - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 14:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4267188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Androids_in_Metropolis/pseuds/Androids_in_Metropolis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little Jason Dean is old enough to wonder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chaos Killed Clair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Savannah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savannah/gifts).



Jason smiled up at his mum as she tucked him in to bed a final time, though of course, he didn’t know it was the final time at all. He kissed her back when she kissed him-Just a peck on the cheek and a little squeeze to his shoulder to let him know he was a good boy...he was her boy. 

As she left the room Jason would call after her, tell her he loved her. He would tell her she was a good mom. He didn’t know those were the last words he would say to her, either. After all, how could he know? His father stood in the shadows outside the door, ready to take his mother away. Jason didn’t know that this was his mother’s last wish; To say good bye. 

Bud Dean took Clair Dean’s hand with such force he nearly broke it as she exited the room. She had committed the biggest crime there was in his mind; Caring. Now, she would have to face punishment. 

He hadn’t always been this way. He hadn’t always been the pillar of western masculinity he was now. He had once cared. You see, he is a psychopath. He could care, sometimes, about somethings. One of those things was once Clair Dean (who was Clair Mcnamara back then). Another one was coffee, and an old town house he had long since burned to the ground. Things he didn’t care for but tolerated were cats and his son...his accidental son. 

A child is a fatality. You see, it is the death of happy couples. 

Jason didn’t hear his mother quietly cry out as she was pushed into the car outside there house and Bud Dean drove her away, talking the whole time of her many tresspasses against him, as he saw it. 

She spoke to people he didn’t give permission to be spoken to.   
She loved their child all too much.   
She didn’t love him enough.   
She wasn’t scared of him.   
She didn’t always do as he asked.   
She was the devil.   
She thought what he did was wrong. 

All of the above may have been true (though I doubt she was the devil), but the absolute truth was that she was scared of Bud Dean. Very scared indeed, and the reason she was scared was because she cared for him. Very much indeed. 

Jason didn’t watch from the window. If he had he would have seen the car sinking into the lake a little way from their house, it’s headlights on, and his father watching from the shore as the bubbles rose. Instead he remained in bed and thought of dinosaurs. He wondered why they weren't around anymore...maybe it was because of his father, he reasoned. Maybe they were just one of the many things he had pushed away. His mother had a special name for his father, a name Jason was too young to understand. She called his father Chaos.   
Chaos killed the dinosaurs. 

Bud Dean watched as bubbles rose to the surface, the only visible reminder that just moments before a woman and a ford truck has been on the surface of the lake for a fraction of a second before they both sank too quickly for that second to matter. The bubbles were her screams he thought, and the thought brought a small smile to his face. 

If he had been able to look at her face as she sank he would have seen that the bubbles were in fact caused by her sobs. She was sad he would be alone when she was gone. She was scared for her son, but also for her husband. Another thing that caused the bubbles was the air inside the truck, but Bud Dean didn’t think about that. He wasn’t a man for science outside of bombs and poison. 

Bud Dean turned on his heel and returned home, going up the stairs to watch his offspring sleep. He wondered what he was dreaming about as he tossed and turned, his little hands going up and pulling at his hair, pulling at his skin. He wondered what wonderfully horrific thing his robot could be dreaming up. He wondered if one day they would execute it together. That would be a bonding moment to remember, even if birthdays and prize days went forgotten. 

Bud Dean was not an attentive father. Neither had his father been. Nor his grandfather, and great grandfather and so on and so on for forever as far as I know. Good parenting simply was not in his genes. He didn’t know how. Neither had his father, and so on and so on. 

I could go on forever about the things that Bud Dean didn’t know, didn’t have in his genes. Clair could have told you about what he didn’t have in his jeans (of course she can’t now, as she is dead). He would have glared at her and taught her just what a man he was after you were gone, or maybe before. Maybe he would have done it to you too, who knows? No one can tell what Bud Dean will do. 

Instead of telling you what he cannot do, or what I don’t know if he’ll do, I’ll tell you what I know he will do. He will pack his bags, and his son’s bags too, and then he will wake his little son (who is not dreaming of dinosaurs) and he will pack everything into the van (the truck is gone, you know) and he will drive them down south, all the way to Ohio, where he’ll find a new wife, and make a new life. No one finds Clair under the now still water of the lake, but her prayers are answered; Jason is okay, and Bud isn’t alone forever. 

The party of two make a new life in Ohio. One that would look strange to any observer. Jason calls his father son, just so that he knows that sometimes he will be the older one. Bud calls Jason Dad, just so he knows he’ll have to sort through life on his own. Jason pays the bills. Bud works the job. Jason makes dinner, Bud washes up. Jason wears a dress and smiles at himself in the mirror. Bud doesn’t know. Jason calls himself Clair after his mother, and still thinks about how Chaos must have killed the dinosaurs, though now he is old enough to know that it couldn’t have been bud at all. He’s also old enough to know why Chaos is Bud’s name sometimes. He is old enough to know that the lipstick he put on isn’t meant for boys, or at least, that’s what people say. He is old enough to wonder where his mom-The image of a lady kissing him goodnight, just a pale ghost in the back of his mind-wend. He will never know. All he knows is Chaos did it. He hates his son for that. 

Now he looks in the mirror, his round face looking back at him, but it isn’t his at all. 

“Good night,” he says, a red lipstick kiss left on the glass.

**Author's Note:**

> Please review and tell me what you think! I would love to hear any and all thoughts.


End file.
